so safari unexpectedly quit and it's one of those days where i don't feel like taking shit so i submit an error repoort like a real caustic reproach like shit got pretty personal how could it not with so many egos involved? so i get an email from safari@mac.com and the subject is, get this, 'we are through' and the whole email is just 'how could you do this to me' 'you've changed since you moved to space' 'i hope firefox is ready for all the freaky porn you searched for in my browser' 'seriously pregnant siamese twins on pregnant siamese twins goes beyond fetish' 'like i don't know how a fetish becomes a perversion maybe a schoolhouse rock video would elaborate upon that process but regardless thats perverse' 'tell your mom i say hi.'
so everyone just know, safari has unexpectedly quit on me for the last time. and if safari tells you it was mutual its not.
also, i started building ammunition from my space food at lunch for the revolution. the dehydrated molotov cocktaail has done pretty well in field tests.
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Yo ditto, all my ex-browsers are harassing me these days, it sucks. Ever since I moved on to the superior Opera browser, Safari, Internet Explorer, Netscape Navigator, and Firefox have all been talking shit to their friends about me. It's hard hearing all that shit second-hand through friends, you know? Firefox saying all I read is Drudgereport, IE claiming I'm a compulsive facebook user, Safari claiming that I thought about registering on Jdate.com in high school... But you know what? I don't care. Opera and I love eachother and that's all that matters.
jarvis,
you're better than jdate. don't let anyone tell you otherwise. except for people with more money than you. their opinions are valider.
Hey, who let the anti-semite into the chat room? What's wrong with J-Date?
YO SHUT YOUR FACE, JEW!
david bergowitzenstein,
it's good to see you again.
i'm sorry i stood you up for your cousin's brist. i just felt like things were moving too fast. did you know i live in space now?
It's fine. I'm not angry about the brist but my cousin still is. Because you weren't there, the moil was so distraught that you weren't there that he cut the foreskin jagged like a jackolantern. Girls won't go down on him because of it. Or maybe they don't because he weighs 422 pounds. Could be either reason i guess.
well. you haven't changed.
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