Jury Duty

Alright blogrades,
I recently experienced a tremendous blow to my personal blow to my liberty and pursuit of happiness.
I was summoned for intergalactic jury duty! Ugggghghghghghghggggggwhymenotnowanytimebutnowiwishiknewajudgeorsomeoneimportantwhocouldbailmeoutofthishellhellhellhellhelllllll
So I show up and a public defense attorney from a bad part of the Eagle Nebula (don't believe the hubble telescope, pillars of creation may look gorgeous but that nebula is fucking ghetto. seriously i know this girl who honeymooned there and her and her husband got mugged and some spaceman was dealing supernova remnants cut with robotussin out of the hotel room next to them.)
So yeah I show up and this public defense attorney calls my number and he starts trying to feel me out to see if I'm prejudice against red dwarfs or white giants and I'm trying my best to come across that way you know just regurgitating old stereotypes and slurs I learned from my grandmother. pretty much a lot of 'red giants? they're a lot of cunt chasers with with more TTD's (telepathically transmitted diseases) than a whore's premie' and 'i haven't seen a white dwarf since i stopped buying my home electronics from the back of some wharvie's '86 chevy comet-hopper'.
And how's this for dramatic irony/poetic justice/insert literary device here: they picked me.
Which means please direct all care packages to the Imperial Inn and Suites: Eagle Nebula. Aw fuck this. Crap.
In other news, I am more reved up for revolution than evs.